


responsibility

by votive



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Gen, Other, They/Them Apprentice, They/Them Asra, and i felt all motivation DRAIN from my body, i literally pounded back two routes in one day, nix hydra is a bitch, so I took it into my own hands, then i reached asras route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 15:26:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30057552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/votive/pseuds/votive
Summary: a short rewrite of what i remember of asra's route ||I hold my breath as I peer into the still waters, holding the bright emerald in my hand ready to drop it in at any moment. A bemused sound escapes my mouth before I can as two light lavender eyes peer into mine.
Relationships: Apprentice/Asra (The Arcana)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	responsibility

My stomach twists in a knot from the apparition before my eyes just from a few moments ago. I can hear the sweet swoon of Faust’s voice in my ear as she uncoils herself from my wrist. With a flick of her tongue, she slithers up towards the fountain.

That’s right- the fountain.  _ Asra _ . I stumble to my feet, my head still fuzzy from the relived memory. I tried to shake off the sound of my master’s voice in my head, though their calm tone still rings in my ear.

_ I can’t get my mind off them-  _

I hold my breath as I peer into the still waters, holding the bright emerald in my hand ready to drop it in at any moment. A bemused sound escapes my mouth before I can as two light lavender eyes peer into mine.

“Master!”

They seemingly recoil at the word, shaking their head lightly as white curls fall into their face. They place a finger up to their lips before extending a hand out to the water, like they were reaching out for me.

“How many times do I have to keep telling you?” They stifled a laugh, probably because my face had turned two shades brighter than before. 

“R-right, Asra, It’s so good to see you-” I fumble with the jewel in my hands, sitting up against the smooth surface of the fountain. I can see the crinkle of dimples near his mouth as they smile up at me, a familiar look in their eyes, but one I haven’t been able to name after all these years.

“As is to you.”

I can feel a sudden silence growing between us. Like they know exactly what’s coming before I open my mouth. As I do, I can see their shoulders tense up.

“Mast- I mean, Asra. I, um…” I fumble with the string laced to the emerald piece, its polished jewel reflecting the light of the morning sun into my eyes. I swallow. Hard. “I… saw some things- well I mean I heard them?"

I can see Faust moving around to comfort me, her body sliding up my sleeve until her head pops out of my collar. I can feel the tension in my body release at her presence. Newfound confidence in me as I focus my attention back on the fountain.

To my surprise, I can see Asra nodding to themself on the other side of the portal. A forlorn, helpless look on their face, as they place a hand against the water.

“Come here,” They instructed me. I lean into the fountain, tentatively placing my hand against the surface. Rather than a cold jolt of running water brushing against my fingertips I can feel the warmth of Asra’s palm. Nervously I lace our fingers together, then with a tug. It goes black.

When I come too, I’m somewhere… other than the palace gardens. The sky above me is a beautiful array of vibrant colours with clouds as whispy and breathtaking to match. 

I can feel something soft against my head, and when I sit up I catch the familiar red of Asra’s scarf folded neatly for a makeshift pillow. 

“Finally awake?” 

My eyes shift to meet Asra, a smile still on their face as they close the distance to meet my side. I can feel the slight shake of their movements as they move to help me sit up. We fall silent again until they’re done readjusting the scarf around their neck.

“Asra…”

“I know.” I can see them bite their lip with anticipation, avoiding my gaze to turn back to the pool of water beside us. A sigh comes soon after. “I… know. I’ve been keeping secrets from you Nasim- things I shouldn’t have.”

I nod along tentatively, breathing in every word until their eyes move to meet mine again. There’s exhaustion, maybe even a little fear as they move to hold my hand. The glassy haze of tears passes over their eyes for a moment, before they blink them away.

“Damn- I’ve been so worried, selfish. All I ever thought about was me- I…” They pull their hand away from mine, running a soft hand against the white curls that stick up for a moment before flopping back down. “We should start from the beginning shouldn’t we?”

We both fall silent, our eyes wandering this way and that until I finally reach out a hand and place it against their arm. I can feel them startle under the touch, their eyes widened in panic before relief settles in.

“I’m ready.”

I can see Asra suck in a deep breath before starting. “It feels so long ago, I’m not sure where to begin.”

“Why don’t you start with why?”

“Why?” They tilt their head to the side, examining my expression before turning away again. 

_ They’re not going to answer that _ . A voice in my head whispers at me, but I brush it aside, my gaze still fixed on Asra’s quivering lip.

“... I tried once before. That’s why. I thought you were ready to back then too but… you almost died. Again.”

The words slam against my chest as my heart pounds in my ears.  _ Again? Again? _ “What do you mean again!?”

My voice rises more into a shout than a question and guilt immediately sink in as soon as I catch the shake in Asra’s hands. Their voice quivers.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. All this time, I was trying to protect you but all I was doing was protecting myself. I’m…” They pause, a gasp in their throat. “ _ So selfish. _ ”

The words roll off their tongue with disdain. The distant memory of Asra’s voice comes to mind, one from the library. 

_ “Julian… let go.” _

_ “Why?” _

_ “You know why, you know I don’t love you.” _

The memory ends there, or at least, I think it does. I slammed that book as quickly as I had opened it, a sick feeling of embarrassment crossing over my cheeks as if I had just walked in on a lovers quarrel. 

The realization dawned on me as the other memories slowly flooded back- All Asra’s but a few… were impossible to be from their perspective. 

Asra flinched when I placed my hand in theirs, a flash of panic in their eyes as I smiled up at them.

“It’s okay,” I say with a chilling calmness that I’m sure even throws Asra off guard. My mind screams in red-hot agony, but I bite my cheek to distract myself from it. It  _ is _ okay. It will be at least, as soon as I... “I know you, Asra. I know you just want to protect me. But I need to know now.”

Their shoulders tense, then fall into a slump. They bring their hands up to their face, shielding themselves from my gaze until I lean up against them. Knocking shoulders playfully.

I can feel the brush of one of their curls against my cheek as they rest their head slowly against mine. We sit in silence for a few moments, with only the sounds of the vibrant oasis to fill the peaceful silence.

“Nasim… I’ll tell you everything. But not here- not right now. I need to be there with you,” I knock out heads together as a laugh comes from Asra that breaks the tension in their words. “I’ll be there for you tomorrow. I’ll show you everything, I…”

Their head leaves my shoulder, instead of turning to face me head-on. Their hands find mind, squeezing gently with undeterred determination in their eyes. “I won’t fail you this time, I swear. I’ll trust you, for real.”

“And you didn’t trust me already before?” I tease with a smile, only to have it falter as a flash of pain crosses over their face. Unsure of how to respond, my hands nearly slip from Asra’s. “Oh…”

“B-but, this time it’s different. You’ve far excelled in my absence, this time… I have my full faith in you Nasim.”

The smile returns to my face at their warm words of affection. For a moment I can feel myself lean in, their breath hitching against my face. I expected a kiss but, my weight shifts forward too quickly and our foreheads knock against each other.

_ “Ow!”  _ I hear Asra yelp.

I try to make an apology but my laughs are too strong to contain. After a few seconds, I wipe a stray tear away from my eye, holding out a hand towards Asra. They take it with an exaggerated huff. 

“How come that always happens?”

“How come what always happens?” I tease, though I know from one glance just what they’re talking about. It’s happened twice before someone or something always interrupts our… more intimate moments. 

A yawn escapes me before I can fend it off. This time, Asra lets out a laugh. They tug against my arm, leading me back to the pool of water. “I’ll be there for you, tomorrow.”

They let go of my hand as if they expected me to dive right back into the water. I hesitate for a moment as they turn to take a few steps away before I grab their hand and squeeze it again. I bring it up to my lips and place a gentle kiss against it, watching with a smile as Asra’s face dusts with blush.

“I’ll hold you to it.”

Before they could form a response, I had dipped my toes into the water, with my body following shortly after. The rush of the fountain was the only thing audible when I came too.

**Author's Note:**

> so anyways my friends bullied me into playing arcana a few days ago and i was excitedly waiting to start asra's route only to find his character was SHOT. i am filled with violence and i shall only curve that curving by writing. anyways maybe one day ill finish his route and do a complete rewrite


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